Tavern Owner Claims to Have Invented a Tequila That Doesn’t Get You Drunk: Everyone Skeptical, Stumbling

Alabama – “I’m not drunk,” Tavern owner Steve Weisback said as he fell into a barstool and tumbled to the ground shattering a half empty bottle of tequila in his hand. After he brushed the glass off, Steve slurred that his home brewed brand of tequila, “Drunk-less Tequila,” while still containing alcohol, would in no way get you drunk.

Steve is an owner of the Tavern, The Missile Toe, in Bucketville, Alabama. The controversy started when he erected a large sign outside his bar that read, “Now serving tequila that in no way will get you drunk.”

Everyone else in the bar seemed to disagree with that assertion. One man wearing a 10 gallon Stetson yelled from a corner table, “You’s a liar Pa! You’s a liar!” People bellying up to the bar reflected this sentiment when everyone nodded their heads to Steve being called a “Cockleshell Fiddler.”

In an exclusive interview obtained by Rabble Rouse The World, Steve explained that he had invented the tequila after his wife had threatened to leave him if he didn’t stop being “such a drunk.”

“The glory of drunk-less tequila,” Steve said while vomiting into a pail, “is that you can drink as much of it as you want, and it doesn’t get you drunk.”

Steve refused to offer explanations as to how he had achieved this other than shouting into the piano player’s microphone, “I’m proof in the pudding that this tequila will not get you drunk.” He then insisted over the loudspeakers that everyone call him “Mr. Steve.”

Sergeant Martin Shiesterman, a police officer who gave Mr. Steve a DUI the evening prior, said that he didn’t buy Mr. Steve’s “bullshit story” about not being drunk behind the wheel.

“Steve was drunk,” Officer Shiesterman said, “It was very clear to me when I saw him driving naked with the words ‘Steve Rules The School!’ painted on his chest that he was on some sort of substance.

So while Mr. Steve continues to insist vehemently that his Drunk-less Tequila cannot possibly get a person drunk, basically everyone else disagrees.