There is one question that a girl can ask that is guaranteed to start a fight with her and her significant other. No, it’s not “Do I look fat in this?” although I’m shocked that father’s don’t pull their sons aside at a young age and tell them the best way to answer this without getting their heads chewed off. For the record none of these are appropriate responses:
1) Who cares? I’d still bang you
2) I like my girls thick
3) Silence, with a deer in headlights look on your face
But no, the question I’m referring to is this: “Which Game of Thrones character am I?”
I posed this question to my poor, unsuspecting boyfriend one evening, and he immediately answered “Sansa Stark!”
I stared at him blankly for a few seconds, before replying, “So you think I’m a whiny, conforming, ginger, who would turn her back on her family for a total douchebag, like PRINCE JOFRREY!?” Being a smart man, he quickly figured out that this was not the correct answer. Then he quickly began to backpedal, and tried to ward off our impending fight by then saying “The Red Witch!” Oh great! Even better! My boyfriend now likens me to a conniving witch that occasionally births demons. And for the record? My hair isn’t even red. And I’ve never given birth. And in the event that I do someday give birth, I’m very hopeful that it won’t be to a full grown demon.
I suppose, like any girl, I would have liked to hear Daenerys. We even call one of my cats “The Dragon” so it’s only fitting that I would be the Mother of Dragons. But I have to admit, I’m not exactly freeing slaves to aid in my revolt against the Seven Kingdoms in order to gain my rightful spot on the throne. In thinking about it, there iisn’treally a good answer here. The only other ladies in the show are bastard haters, brother lovers, and breast feeders to their adolescent sons.
I had to concede that maybe it was an unfair question, a trap of sorts. So II’mgoing to do a solid for the rest of you guys that haven’t yet had to answer this precarious question. When your girlfriend, wife, significant other, friend, or sister asks the question: “Which Game of Thrones character am I most like?” Try answering with this:
“None of the characters are as beautiful, kind, funny, and smart as you are, so none of them.”
Or just keep your mouth shut.