How To Have The Most Fun Ever On Instagram

Are apes not acting out anymore, or has the entire world decided to leave this hilarious behavior off Instagram?

Instagram Cat

By my calculations, I’ve spent sixty hours in a van in less than two weeks. I haven’t been kidnapped again, just on tour. So to pass the game, I’ve invented a game involving Instagram. It’s a strange game, highly addictive, and I’ve found it to be much more entertaining than than being a highway Tinder terrorist.

Here’s how to have the most fun ever on Instagram:

Search hashtags to try to find a hashtag that has the least amount of things tagged under it without it being zero. Your goal is to to find photos with only a single hashtag.

Anyone can play it. You can play it alone or with others. Playing will show you an interesting angle of humanity.

To my shock, not a single person had tagged anything under #ApesActingOut.


Apes Acting Out

Are apes not acting out anymore, or has the entire world decided to leave this hilarious behavior off Instagram?

 

#ExplodingGuitar turned out to be a winning search with only three photos tagged under it. And two of the three were mistags, since only one showed a guitar actually exploding.

Exploding Guitar on Instagram

#FarmAnimalsActingOut turned out to be a dud, with not a single photo tagged under it. I could maybe believe that apes have stopped acting out, but I find it very difficult to believe that farm animals have completely stopped this sort of behavior. Don’t expect me to believe that an animal as intelligent as a pig confined to a pen the size of a shoebox isn’t going to display delinquency. People are so busy posting #Selfies, that no one is documenting and hashtagging animal delinquency.

If I was disappointed by the lack of farm animals acting in hilarious ways, then the goldfish devastated me. Not a single photo filed under #GoldFishJumpingOutOfTheirBowl.

Other promising contenders that turned out to be duds include: #InopportuneGlitter, #TigersRidingLions, #ChildrenRidingDinosaurs, #DinosaursRidingChildren, #DinosaursBeingCrazy, #OutOfControlPrairieDogs and #GoatsBeingCrazy.

With 69 photos filed under it, it was far from being a winner, but #AnimalsActingLikePeople proved to have some fabulous photos, including Kisses, who didn’t seem impressed one bit by the steak dinner in front of her.

Cat on Instagram

 

Winnings searches that produced a single hashtagged image included: #FrogsFlying, #RunningFromAnimalControl, #FlyingPennies and my favorite, #GoatsOnTopOfGoatsOnTopOfRefrigerator  (which sadly, only featured goats on a porch).

Goats on Instagram

Flying Frogs

And finally, my Instagram adventuring led me to this guy. I appreciate that somewhere in the world, is a guy who reads his books in a horse costume. He might be why everyone on Instagram is so merry and there are about 20m #happiness tags and only 1.7m #sadness tags. Thanks horse-guy-reading-a-book-with-what-I-presume-to-be-scotch.
Horse Man on Instagram