Five Things You Can’t Do at a Concert at 30

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An eccentric person once said “with age comes wisdom”, while another one sang “act your age not your shoe size.”  Words to live by, or may hear when you don’t. That being said, just because your age demographic now falls in the 30+ bracket, it doesn’t make you old and boring. It also doesn’t mean you will always make the smart decision. You will still have fun, continue act immature at times, and those poor decision-making skills you thought you’d outgrown will still continue to haunt you. Age is but a number, but there are some things in life that what you did in your 20’s are unacceptable in your 30’s.  Going to a concert is an event where this comparison is most obvious, which both age brackets represented. So here’s a list of “Five Things You Can’t Do at a Concert at 30.”

1.  First and foremost at a concert at 30, you cannot wear the t-shirt you just bought from the merch table the same night of the concert.

You may have gotten away with that in your 20’s when you didn’t know better and wanted to prove your number one fan status, but you wore a lot of things in your 20’s you wouldn’t now.  It’s never a good thing to be seen wearing the exact same thing as somebody else, now you will be just “one of many” wearing the exact same thing. Truthfully, you should never wear the t-shirt of the band you are going to see, but if you are willing to break that rule, at least have one from a previous tour that has been washed and doesn’t look and smell like it just came out of box.  You should know better than that by now.

2.  Yelling “Free Bird” isn’t funny anymore.

It’s just not, and looking back, it wasn’t funny in your 20’s when you did and got looks from the people around you AND the band.  In your 20’s yelling stupid shit in order to get attention made for a “good” story to tell about the concert.  “Dude, like they were ending this one song and I yelled out ‘FREE BIRD!’ and everyone looked at me!” They looked because it’s a 41 year-old “joke” that wasn’t funny then.  At least in your 20’s you get a pass because you do and say stupid shit during that time in your life. By 30, you’ve possibly yelled it at least once, heard it numerous times, and realize it was never funny to begin with.

 

3. Holding up your cell phone so that someone who isn’t there can “hear” the show.

In your 20’s anything at anytime is the most exciting and important moment. Your friend couldn’t make it to the show and the band is playing their favorite song, and your friend says to call them when they play it.  I say “when” because anyone who makes that request probably loves a staple in that band’s live show. It’s one thing to hold up a phone and take pics or videos, people behind you can respect that. By holding up your phone, you are blocking someone’s view, just so someone else who isn’t there can “listen”. Here’s what I’ve learned about this, and I am admitting to being on both ends of this call, the sound quality sucks.  It’s a waste of time, your shoulders will start to hurt, and you miss out on part of the concert you are actually at. The absent friend is absent for a reason, let them be. There will be other concerts.

4. Excessive talking during a show.

Maybe you haven’t seen your friends in a while and have a lot to catch up on. Or maybe something during the show makes you think of something funny you want to share. Quite possibly you have been drinking/smoking/snorting/popping something that decreases your decision-making skills while increasing your urge to talk. It happens to the best of us. You get caught up in the moment and worry you’ll forget the significance of whatever it is you want to say. If it’s that important, you’ll be able to tell this story later when the person can actually hear and respond. What will happen is that you will start talking, they will nod, you’ll continue to talk and wait for some sort of response in which they will say “what?” or “huh?” If this situation has gotten to the point of repeating yourself, and you are in your 30’s, the only acceptable response to this is “nevermind”. Get back to listening to the live music being played, it isn’t that important. Trust me.

5.  Getting your stash snatched at the door.

If you are going to sneak in things that may or may not be “legal”, make sure you know what you are doing, this isn’t your first rodeo. Yes, sometimes searches at the door go south, and you get caught. Shit happens. But let’s say you think using an Altoid container of those curiously strong mints to hide your stash, and security asks you to open said container of curiously strong mints revealing a hidden stash. Then you deserve everything that happens after that. You are in your 30’s, you should know better than to think security won’t check to see what else in that container. They are frisking people, making them empty out their pockets, checking purses, opening up cigarette packs, even making people take their shoes off. You don’t think they will check that large tin?  It says “curious” on the damn thing. They have to check it because it is something that is used to carry numerous pill-sized entities, and you put your weed in there?  I don’t even know if this falls under experience, quite possibly just common sense.

 

 

Eric Harken

Eric Harken

Eric Harken was raised in the corrupt county of Cook. He is in a serious love/hate relationship with the city of Chicago and loves the smell of asparagus in the morning. Follow him smelling asparagus in the morning @Erock187 

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