Sara Roan

Letter to the Calorie Counting App on My iPhone

Calorie Counter

Dear Calorie Counting App on My iPhone I still cannot believe I opened myself up to you. Really, the wedding is to blame, and probably Society a little bit, what with its unrealistic expectations of women and whatnot. But I pride myself on not giving in to peer pressure, so mainly it’s the wedding. You…

How To Survive: Re-entering the Workforce

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Yes, the rumors you’ve heard are true—I am a working woman once again. Now that I’ve braved a few weeks behind a new desk, I’m here to offer my guidance for anyone else looking to reenter the fickle world of employment. Sure, I was only without a job for a little over a month, but…

Letter to Spring

Image Credit: http://favim.com/

Dear Spring, Welcome! Sure, your wind and rain seem a bit perverse considering how long we had to wait for you to come around, but your presence is still greatly appreciated. Flowers beginning to bloom and cool sunshine, what a joy! You’ve also brought me a job. Oh, Spring, as much as unemployment was the…

How to Survive: Daytime Television (In Person)

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Unemployment is getting weird. You all know how hard I’ve been avoiding daytime television, right? Well I lost my battle, kind of. Thanks to an ad on craigslist, I actually participated in it as an audience member. I’m not going to name names, but there’s a man out there who is basically the conservative poor…

Living the Dream

Living the Dream

I am living the dream. It’s the beginning of my third week of unemployment and, I must say, it’s about as amazing as I thought it would be. Sure, there are moments of self-doubt and intense financial worries, but that happens even when I have a job! I’ve wanted this so badly for so long…

Sara Roan’s 3 Ways to Survive Unemployment

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I have now found myself in the trenches of Unemployment: Day 1. Last week we were on the train chatting about romance, this week I have no income—what a wild ride this thing called life is! Now before you worry too much, I knew this day was coming. In fact, it was I who chose…

Our Engagement Story

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Here I am, riding a train on Valentine’s Day. By the time you read this it will no longer be Valentine’s Day, but that’s ok. I imagine romance is still be lingering wherever you are and will be in the air for weeks to come, because that’s what V Day does, right? It makes people…

Point/Counterpoint: Stuffed Animals

Stuffed Animals

  Friend or foe? Lovely plaything or frivolous attachment? Adorable or creepy? Stuffed animals mean so many different things to so many different people…even different things to the same person at different times in his or her life. Welcome to another installment of Point/Counterpoint, wherein I debate the merits of stuffed animals with a younger…

Why New Year’s Resolutions Are So Last Year

Happy New Year from Sara Roan

And we’re back! Happy week after the week after New Year’s Eve! These past two weeks are likely the most depressing of the year, rivaled only by any week that occurs in March. Oh holidays are over? And the weather is horrendous? And I don’t have the promise of any actual vacation time until summer,…

Engagement Expectations

Engaged

Hey everyone, guess what? I’ve gone and gotten myself engaged. I said it before, I’ll say it again: I’m not sure how I got this fellow to stick around, let alone put a ring on it. But he has and it’s all very exciting. In exchange, I’ll give him the gift of waiting a couple…

Breakdown: Investigative Television

Investigative TV

Apparently it’s the end of November! Cold weather is here, colder weather is coming, and with it the diminishing desire to leave your house. You’re starting to seek out activities that you can do in the warm confines of your home, perhaps while wearing your favorite pajamas (perhaps things that don’t require you to take…

An Open Letter To Middle Schoolers

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Dear Middle Schoolers, This letter also applies to those of you who identify as “Junior High Schoolers,” so please do not disregard it if you are now thinking, “Middle Schooler? What’s that? Not me!” Are you between the ages of 11 and 14? Then this note is for you. And, trust me, you’re going to…

Point/Counterpoint Follow-Up: Fashion

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Young Sara finally got around to reading the last installment of Point/Counterpoint and has a bone to pick with Old Sara… I welcome you to read the strange argument I have with myself as a result.   Sara Roan, age 11 Longmeadow, MA To be honest, I’m still in shock over the revelations made regarding…

Guys, I’m Growing Up!

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From the way I talk (write), it might seem like I’ve taken some steps backward in terms of becoming a full-fledged adult—you know, with a real job and practical goals for my future. I can assure you, however, that that is certainly not the case. Why, just this past weekend I was repeatedly, subtly slapped…

The Price of Free Things

Free Stuff

Folks, this week I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about free things—free food, free drink, free stuff—and I’ve decided that it’s all bad. I imagine that most people in the general public might disagree. “Sara,” they’ll all say, “surely free food, free drink, and free stuff… these are good things!” Until very recently I…

Missing the Office…?

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I’m going through a bit of an experimental phase right now, career-wise. Much the same as when I first moved to New York City seven years ago at the ripe age of twenty, I’m following the winding road that is craigslist. I’ll focus on writing! But I should spend more time outside and pay my…

How to Survive: Officiating a Wedding (Specifically in New York City)

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Qualifications (in two parts) Internet So you’ve been asked to officiate a wedding? Congratulations! This means your friends think you are somewhat organized and charismatic—or they at least think you’ll be able to speak in front of an audience without sweating too much. Regardless, this earns you bragging rights for a little while. “Oh, you…

An Open Letter To My Sweaters

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Dear Cardigans, Let me first send my apologies to the other sweaters. Though I’ve seen a couple of you non-wool garments on a cool evening here and there, most of you have been stuck in the large plastic bin under my bed for months. We all know summer happens every year, but that doesn’t mean…

Point/Counterpoint: My Future

Future

  A world of possibilities or a world of responsibilities? Here we have two sides of the same coin weigh in—Young Sara will be taking the side of the road most traveled (she’s a dreamer with a backup plan), while Old Sara is a bit more…scattered (but she’s still practical and responsible, ok?). Here we…

Life Hecklers Encyclopedia, Abridged

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The following is an excerpt from the Life Hecklers Encyclopedia—a book used to describe those people who think it is their business to make comments about our lives on a daily basis, no matter how uninformed.   DEFINITION Life Heckler [lahyf hek–uh ler] noun a person you have never formally met who tells you what…

An Open Letter to My Grocer

Grocery Store NYC

To Whom it May Concern: First, let me commend you. As grocery stores go, yours is among the best. The selection of produce, frozen foods, cheeses, and toiletries is unparalleled, especially since you offer these goods at such competitive prices. Sure, your location is somewhat inconvenient, which forces me to take my groceries on the…

Dating Etiquette: Some Tips for a New Relationship

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My boyfriend recently moved in with me, which has caused a bit of reminiscing over those first days of dating. How far we’ve come! While I am fortunate enough to be in a committed long-term relationship that functions pretty well—communication, shared responsibilities, etc.—hindsight is 20/20 and love must be blind because I have no idea…

How to Survive: Being an Extra

Movie Extra

You’ve gotten a role in a major motion picture, congratulations! Though it’s not the most prestigious of parts, being an extra is still something to be proud of. You went through the rigorous casting process: seeing an ad on Craigslist, responding to that ad with your measurements and a picture of your face, having those…

An Open Letter To My Gym

Lucille Roberts

I’m sorry, but I thought we were in Zumba to get some exercise, not watch some solo sex choreography. Dear Lucille Roberts, Let me please preface this by clarifying: this is a letter for Lucille Roberts the lady gym, not Lucille Roberts the lady. I repeat—this is for the company not the individual. The Internet…

Tempo Friends Encyclopedia, Abridged

friends-fingers

The following is an excerpt from the Tempo Friends Encyclopedia—a book used to describe those people who come in an out of our lives on a daily basis and manage to make an impression, however brief. Tempo Friend [tem-poh frend] noun a person you only know for a short period of time; also referred to…

The Cost of Independence

5th of July

I am writing to you from the wilds of Independence Day Hangover. By the time you read this, there’s no telling what shape I’ll be in. I’ve heard tell, however, that year after year people try to travel to this faraway land. Perhaps you are already planning a trip for 2014? Thusly, I will share…

Greatest Mentor of All

What Are You Wearing Glare

  I believe that interns are our future—teach them well and they might one day lead a company. Each is a bundle of joy, starry-eyed and wobbly, embarking on his or her career path. I feel blessed to be able to, along with my fellow full-time employees, aid in our interns’ upbringings. It truly takes…

An Open Letter to a Chelsea Beggar

Homeless Guy With Sign

 Dear Sir,  I saw you on my way to work today, I believe at the corner of 24th Street and 6th Avenue. I don’t often read the signs since I’m afraid my slowing down to read might be misconstrued as an interest in donating. I was, however, able to catch some of your post in…