Rabble Rousing

What is Ello?

New Social Network Ello

“But what is Ello?” you ask when the barroom table erupts into witticisms about it. “What is Ello?” ask Catee, laughing into her neat scotch. Everyone at your table starts giggling and, ashamed, you grab your pack of American Spirit rolling tobacco and run out into the night to catch the L train, vowing to never…

Boy-Scouting and Sex Appeal

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My friends and I have lots of interests, but one interest in particular surpasses all the others: men. We love men. Every day, we meet up for lunch in a café on campus, and we eat and observe. I like to call it “boy-scouting.” We each have our own type, and some of the men…

5 Things I Think I Know About Australia

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by Isaac Lai Spoiler alert: I definitely don’t know the second verse of the national anthem. I know the first line (beneath the radiant southern cross), which already puts me in the upper echelon of patriotic Australians even though I look like a waiter at a Chinese restaurant. I was born in Australia and have…

3 Horrible Life Lessons Rudolph Teaches Our Kids

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  It’s holiday time once again, which means everyone’s favorite Christmas specials will be appearing all over ABC family.  These shows were meant to teach kids the “true meaning of Christmas” and not to be greedy little bastards when it comes to gifts.  But I came to the realization last year that one Christmas special…

Certifications Are Offered to Customers and Partners of EMC

Customers and partners of EMC have access to exclusive benefits, including certifications that only they can earn. Three tracks are available that customers of EMC can take part in, while partners have access to six tracks. In order to obtain an enriched experience with EMC, as well as earn certifications that can substantially improve your…

Alien Newscaster Says “Zurchy” On INtergalactic Television

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ANDROMEDA GALAXY – Ziegeildler Zoundsbracket, nightly news anchor for KINT Interstellar News, actually said the word “zurchy” during a live television broadcast last night. According to Nielsen, approximately 280 trillion beings overheard the foul curse word during the three-minute broadcast, which was directed at KINT’s partner stations in the Milky Way Galaxy some 2.5 million…

Area Man in High-Speed Chase Driving Car He Definitely Stole

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LOS ANGELES, CA – Recently paroled felon Jacob Madura, resident of Hemet, is currently involved in a high-speed chase with police officers along California Interstate 210, driving his own personal…ah, are you shitting me? There’s no way that car’s his.  We’ve been unable to confirm whether Madura stole the car from a nearby neighborhood or…

How to Survive: Officiating a Wedding (Specifically in New York City)

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Qualifications (in two parts) Internet So you’ve been asked to officiate a wedding? Congratulations! This means your friends think you are somewhat organized and charismatic—or they at least think you’ll be able to speak in front of an audience without sweating too much. Regardless, this earns you bragging rights for a little while. “Oh, you…

‘N Sync Says “Bye Bye Bye” to a Reunion Tour

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Rumors swirled of a possible reunion tour for NSYNC after Justin’s impressive VMA performance.  The boy band immediately jumped for the opportunity to tour again but encountered problems the second day of rehearsals.  The other members of the boy band were outraged when they realized they had to perform with Justin on stage for more…

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But ours does, because we write what people want to read it. RabbleRouseTheWorld.com has a diverse group of writers and columnists who write engaging content that hits the hilarity mark with our readers. From comedians in New York, to an expat journalist in Korea, our writers cover current affairs, culture, art, music, all while keeping…

Utter Neanderthal Uses Map

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BURBANK, CA – The world watched in stunned disbelief on Thursday as an utterly backward human being used a compass and a map to find his destination instead of a GPS system. Timothy Lauer, 32, of Ventura, California, was spotted walking down First Street with an honest-to-God compass and what appeared to be a tourist…

How to Survive Your First Year at Miskatonic University

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Welcome, freshmen! Welcome to orientation! Welcome to the seething depths of madness and mental torment—I mean the best dang college in New England! You’ve got a long, fulfilling academic career ahead of you. Under the gambrel roofs and cyclopean architecture of the historic city of Arkham, on the banks of the blood-besotted—beautiful, I mean—Miskatonic River,…

An Open Letter To My Plastic Surgeon

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Dear Dr. Débaclé, I am writing to you in the hopes that we can settle the matter of you seriously botching the surgery I had with you. I don’t think we need to bring attorneys or health insurance companies into this as long as I never have to work again.  Also, I think you’ll agree that you…

New To Rabble Rouse The World: Films on the Fly

Films on the Fly are made by meeting strangers, giving them a premise and having them act it out on the fly, or just assuming a character and going out to rabble rouse. Films on the Fly are new, they are awesome, and they are starring you. WOOT WOOT! Feel free to make and submit…

Rusty Solomon Knows Drink

Rusty Solomon is supporting what I have been hoping for for a while: a reason to do what I am going to do anyways and feel good about it. The Greeks used to say, “In wine there is truth.” Well, I think that in Rusty Solomon there is truth. Because, according to him, he’s advocating, based…

Wanna Party?

That’s right, “Wanna Party?”. What kind of question is that? Rhetorical, but very important. And in some states across the country, partying just got way partied up. Do you live in any of these states?     Lucky if you do. Because you can rent one of these babies:   That’s right. You’re looking at…

It’s Time To Make Light of John Denver’s Death

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I think it’s time. I think you’ll agree. I remember watching Good Morning America 19 years ago when new broke that John Denver had died in a plane crash. I remember saying, “Whose John Denver?” To which my older brother incredulously said, “You know, John Denver, Rocky Mountain High?” That didn’t set off any bells.…

The End of Owning

This excerpt is from a mass email that I sent out to friends and family December, 2007. It was written shortly after I’d ditched everything I owned that didn’t fit in a backpack and set out from Chile with the goal of hitch-hiking to Alaska. I recently revisited the email while writing an article for…

Campaign to Ban John Tottenham from the Planet Earth

Photo Credit: LA Times

Have you heard about John Tottenham and why he is not awesome? Listen to this… John Tottenham is a British poet living in LA who wants to ban the world ‘awesome’. For everyone. Even children and bunnies. As he told the LA times, “It’s a matter of semantic satiation.” and goes onto say that anyone…

The House of Balls

When you cross the threshold of the House of Balls, you leave the familiar behind. The studio/gallery studio/gallery is creation of found-object sculptor, Allen Christian. You’ll find it tucked into a corner of the warehouse district of Minneapolis, in the neighborhood of condos, cafés and chic shops. But you never know what’s behind a door. Even…

French Song Translated

Like Italian, German and Swiss music, French music is very hard to understand because it is not in English. Fortunately, the team of translators at Rabble Rouse The World, have worked tirelessly to translate this following French song for you. They did it for you. And they did it for the cheese we paid them.…

Occupy: The Nursing Home Hallway

Today, just before the start of The Price is Right, a group of Rabble Rousing seniors wreak havoc in their assisted living center after deciding to occupy the Nursing Home Hallway.    HILLSOBORO, Oregon – After watching the twenty-four hour news stations for weeks, a group of a dozen senior citizens of the Pinewood Assisted Living Center in…