Campaign to Ban John Tottenham from the Planet Earth

Photo Credit: LA Times

Have you heard about John Tottenham and why he is not awesome?

Listen to this…

John Tottenham is a British poet living in LA who wants to ban the world ‘awesome’. For everyone. Even children and bunnies.

As he told the LA times, “It’s a matter of semantic satiation.” and goes onto say that anyone who drops an ‘awesome’ in his presence is essentially “waving a crucifix in a vampire’s face.” That’s British for, “he’s tired of the word awesome.” It also means that John is a vampire.

Let us also remind readers that because he is a British man,  he can use the C-word without people thinking he’s a monster, and yet he picks on awesome, aka OUR FAVORITE WORD, John!

Mr. Ottenham is calling his campaign the “Campaign to Stomp Out Awesome,” which seems like a rip-off of Sadaam Hussein’s early 90s campaign, “The Campaign to Stomp Out Joy.”

So far Mr. Tottenham has made bumper sticks against the word ‘awesome’ and there is fear he might move onto T-shirts soon.

Today Rabble Rouse The World is taking a stand and launching a campaign against John Ottenham’s “Campaign to Stomp Out Awesome.” We are calling our campaign, “The Campaign to Ban John Tottenham from the Planet Earth. Or if he wants to stay on earth, then just the United States. Or if he says sorry, then just Disney Land.”

Since Mr. Ottenham is a poet, it seemed best to start the “Campaign To Ban Mr. Ottenham from the Planet Earth” with a poem to remind everyone just how awesome the word awesome is.

 

Ode To Awesomeness

Oh awesome house,

And awesome day,

You both are awesome,

In your own way.

And though your awesomeness

Knows no bounds,

I like to keep awesome things around:

My awesome bed and awesome chair,

My awesome sweater and awesome bear,

My awesome comb and awesome gel,

Make my hair look awesome as well.

Because awesome is as awesome does,

Where I come from we say it just because

It’s awesome.

 

I checked out John Tottenham’s website and read a few of his poems. I’ve rewritten one of his poems, “State of Grace” to render it as it might have appeared had Mr. Ottenham taken a different stance on the word “awesome”.

Here is the poem as it appears on John Tottenham’s website:

 

 

 

Now here is that same poem re-written with the ban on “awesome” lifted:

 

 

I don’t think there’s any disagreement about which poem is better. The second one is way more awesome. Look how awesome the title font is in that one!

Anyways, at Rabble Rouse The World we try to be fair and open with those we don’t agree with (except Beliebers). So we’ll be contacting Mr. Tottenham to let him know about our campaign against his campaign and if he is open to it, we’ll given him the floor so that he can present his side of his vendetta against awesome.